its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
