I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
