I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
