Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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  (513): thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES. http://tfl.nu/uymn
  Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (2607)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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  (301): Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/iw4x
  Replies (33) Good night (1178) Bad night (3413)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.

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  (412): I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death. http://tfl.nu/3s8a
  Replies (23) Good night (7967) Bad night (881)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (723) Bad night (4837)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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  (419): I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel. http://tfl.nu/xpce
  Replies (28) Good night (782) Bad night (5338)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

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  (402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y
  Replies (13) Good night (649) Bad night (5729)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

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  (225): True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us http://tfl.nu/tf5l
  Replies (4) Good night (3433) Bad night (1212)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

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  (701): I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?" http://tfl.nu/cr38
  Replies (12) Good night (3972) Bad night (1488)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.

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  (903): As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix. http://tfl.nu/azut
  Replies (5) Good night (1403) Bad night (627)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!

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  (314): Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo! http://tfl.nu/csd8
  Replies (2) Good night (1438) Bad night (576)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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  (319): dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone? http://tfl.nu/6czx
  Replies (6) Good night (1276) Bad night (413)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

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  (843): I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture. http://tfl.nu/qb04
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (335)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.

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  (937): Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life. http://tfl.nu/0u64
  Replies (9) Good night (767) Bad night (322)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.

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  (908): Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers. http://tfl.nu/nu4z
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (360)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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  (267): Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am? http://tfl.nu/20h1
  Replies (1) Good night (1118) Bad night (306)

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