CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
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I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...