idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…