Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.