Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.

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  (816): I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else. http://tfl.nu/ftgf
  Replies (8) Good night (726) Bad night (1340)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon

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  (845): Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon http://tfl.nu/pdkb
  Replies (16) Good night (696) Bad night (4954)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

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  (757): Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town http://tfl.nu/mvuo
  Replies (39) Good night (6831) Bad night (924)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.

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  (815): New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink. http://tfl.nu/5ry5
  Replies (13) Good night (6526) Bad night (973)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.

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  (970): I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it. http://tfl.nu/cqfe
  Replies (8) Good night (839) Bad night (6156)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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  (605): My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day http://tfl.nu/e7q8
  Replies (5) Good night (2200) Bad night (2504)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship

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  (713): Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship http://tfl.nu/tzas
  Replies (14) Good night (2552) Bad night (1098)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines

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  (970): I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines http://tfl.nu/icc2
  Replies (9) Good night (2978) Bad night (1238)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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  (217): It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way. http://tfl.nu/sqy6
  Replies (5) Good night (2296) Bad night (1594)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.

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  (978): I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call. http://tfl.nu/ftpa
  Replies (18) Good night (2542) Bad night (955)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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  (907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8
  Replies (8) Good night (2583) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here

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  (303): there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here http://tfl.nu/yv0c
  Replies (4) Good night (1197) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....

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  (310): We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries.... http://tfl.nu/y7n3
  Replies (9) Good night (1009) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.

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  (312): I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM. http://tfl.nu/w4qm
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?

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  (406): bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok? http://tfl.nu/2iym
  Replies (14) Good night (528) Bad night (1286)

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