he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
