you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
