his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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