theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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