my mouth tastes like poor choices
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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