Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
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dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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