Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize