Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
