just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just had sex bonerless
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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