you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
