My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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