Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
