New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize