you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
