He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Enjoy the penises
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
