The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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