ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
