You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was confusing and full of hummus
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You ruined the universe
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
