Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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