My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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