My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize