Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The uberlube is also flammable
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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