jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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