Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
