I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
