it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
