She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
