I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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