Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
