Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
