She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
