how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
