There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i now understand why vodka
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
