I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can you repeat that, but with context?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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