I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
