dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.