Can Purell be used as lube?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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