I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you