Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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