dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
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its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo