Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
