He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
