Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize