I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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