Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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