she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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