her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Found the puke drawer
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
