he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
