Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
