apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
