drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
