you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
