Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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