If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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