So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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