I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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