there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.