Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it