so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.