Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.