She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.