So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.