well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
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Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high