On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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