Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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