going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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