I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
