maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
