I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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