Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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