it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize