TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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