i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
