Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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