If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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